Of all the things I dreaded about preparing for the triathlon, the wet-suit was the one I dreaded the most. I was looking forward to getting fitted about as much as I look forward to a pap smear. My fears did not exceed the reality. My strategy was pretty foolproof. We (my super supportive hubby) and I got to Sports Basement in the Presidio right when they opened. We headed for the back, where the tri gear is, and Chris took a seat on the comfy sofa. I wandered around a bit looking at tri outfits (found one at an amazing discount) and after a few minutes an incredibly nice gentleman came to help me.
I gave him my weight and height details (I suppose the bright side is they don’t ask your age), and he came out with something that looked like a skinned seal. “It’s new, so unfortunately there isn't a lot of ‘give’ in it yet.” He tells me to put it on “like putting on panty hose,” using the pads of my fingers so that I don’t tear it, and making sure the crotch is snug where it should be. I take it into the dressing room, and start to wrestle with the rubbery jumble of skinny tubes that no way will fit. After about 10 minutes of tugging and wriggling, I get it most of the way up my legs. Nice Gentleman calls out “are you decent?” Me: “I’ve never been so indecent in all my life.”
Eventually I get it up over the caboose, and feel comfortable enough in my sports bra to venture out into the main area for help. NG tugs the thing over my arms, and teaches me a trick of bending over to get the suit to puff out in front - which I’m supposed to grab and tug upward toward my chest. Grab & tug, grab & tug. He zips it up, and warns me to make sure it is snug in the armpits and in the crotch, because those areas will fill with water. He also warns me of chafing, providing grody pictures of customers who did not buy Body Glide. It looks like the worst rug burn ever, in the most sensitive places ever. I buy some straight away.
Turns out after you get this much neoprene on, there’s no such thing as cellulite. It is by far the dorkiest thing I’ve ever worn, yet I’m smooth like a seal & look like a superhero. NG tells me that these suits are filled with tiny bubbles of air, to help you float. And he tells me (as does just about everyone else) that I have to do an open water swim prior to the event. Have to. Like something horrible will happen if I don’t. I only have two more weekends until the Big Day, so hearing this, the panic set in...
And then I turned it off. I remembered why I’m doing this (for FUN). If I get in an open water swim before, then cool. What is the worst that could happen? It takes me 5 minutes to adjust to the shock? It takes me so long that I’m the last out of the water? No matter what, it can’t possibly be the end of the world. I’ll be fine, because my goal is to have fun, and I’m already doing that.
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